Babies are not Bandaids.....

Todays rant brought to you by dumb ass women (girls) who try to trap men with babies.   I don't even know where to start.  Babies. Are. Not. Bandaids.  They will not fix a broken relationship. If anything, they make a relationship harder.  I don't know what kind of fantasy world these tricks live in but they need to come on down to Earth.  They get pregnant, the man is resentful and feels tricked and trapped, then they get huge, sick, whiney, leaky and certifiably insane.  Not a great list of reasons for him to stick around.  And you think that when Jr. gets here its all bliss and hearts and rainbows?? Bull. Shit.  Sure, the baby comes out and for a moment you are overwhelmed with love and happiness.  This feeling may even last a couple days.  Then you get home and reality sets in.  This cute little bundle of joy in now a screaming, pooping stress ball who never freaking sleeps EVER.  And to boot, you are leaking out of every orifice, the house is a wreck, there's nothing to eat, the laundry is now 7 feet high and HOW MANY DIAPERS CAN THIS CHILD USE IN ONE DAY!?!?!   Kids are expensive.  But these bitches don't ever think past delivery. Ever.  They don't think about how much daycare costs (6300 a year, btw), or how expensive diapers are (approximately .30 a piece, minimum of 7-10 a day for the first 6 months, then they use less but the diapers get more expensive so you are looking at approximately 75 bucks a month for the next 3 years or so), or how fast they grow out of all those clothes you got at the baby shower, (2 months, then you have to buy all new crap, and then 2 months later buy MORE stuff, then the seasons change), new toys every other week since they get bored, formula (3500 before their first birthday), and if you are lucky like me and well baby visits aren't covered by insurance, an additional 3200 out of pocket for office visits and required immunizations.  That doesn't count the 4200 that you owe the hospital for the birth.  Folks that is 1000 bucks a month for a kid MINIMUM. And that doesn't include when they get sick and there's another copay, 1/2 day off work, prescription costs AND the additional day you have to stay home and miss 8 hours pay because they can't go to daycare sick (btw...you still have to pay the daycare for that day).  THIS is the shit that needs to be taught in sex ed.  Tell these snitches about episiotomies, huge dark nipples, stretch marks, never leaving the house, how much a babysitter costs IF you can find one you trust with your children and maternity pants with the giant panel for your belly. Not. Sexy. 
So next time you feel like your man is getting a little shifty and you get that desperate feeling, have a glass of wine and take your birth control pill. Please.  We don't need anymore daddyless, emotionally damaged welfare babies.  It takes a strong relationship to survive a newborn and if he's already getting shifty and you aren't even married, a baby will only complicate matters for YOU.  Because when he inevitabley leaves, you are stuck with the baby, the bills AND a large armful of loose skin, saggy boobs and hoohah that will never be the same.  He will be screwing his new, childless piece of ass while you are up for the 3am feeding with nobody to hand you a burp rag.