White Girl Problems: The plight of the lower middle class housewife

The middle class is disappearing.  I've been reading that for a while now and didn't quite understand how.  Now I get it.  Until recently, we were a dual income family making enough money to live comfortably and still go out to eat or away for a weekend here and there.  Then I lost my job.  I intended to go right back to work, get another job, but the jobs I was offered in this economy....lets just say I'd be working to pay for daycare so I opted to just stay home. 
We are responsible.  We are hardworking.  We are doing the very best with what we have.  We are also being fucked over.
My little boy is starting school next year.  He is required to have immunizations.  Our health insurance does not cover well visits.  It covers 80% of illness and emergencies and my copays are 50 dollars and we have NO maximum out of pocket.  I know what you are thinking.  Get better insurance!  Um, have you priced family plans?  We can't afford more than the rate we pay monthly now.  How do you think we can afford to pay FOUR HUNDRED for a policy and STILL pay copays and deductibles? Anyway, so now that I no longer work, I was very excited to save money and be able to go downtown and get his shots.  Oh was I wrong.
Last week I took my boy to his doctor to get his annual check up. The shots he required were an ADDITIONAL FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS up front.  The sweet nurse urged me to take him to the health department.  The shots are free.  Great!  So I call the health department.   "Come on down! The shots are free!"  Great! So I drive down there today WAY downtown in the damn ghetto, pregnant and toting a 4 year old.  I fill out the form with our info and make the mistake of being HONEST and checking the box that says "Has insurance that doesn't cover vaccines."  So I get up to the window after a short wait, hand over my sons immunization record, tell her what I understand he needs (5 shots) and she informs me I will have to pay for them today.  I was surprised, since I'd been told they are free.  She calculates the total.  I'm thinking 50-100 bucks since this is a federally funded establishment.  Nope.  "That will be $320"  I almost fell out of my chair.  She then informed me that I was free to make an appointment with pediatrics and then I could just pay my $50 copay and they shots would be free.  Great! So I shake off the fact that I've wasted half a day and 10 bucks in gas driving all the way down there and call the number she gave me to make an appointment with a pediatrics clinic closer to home.  I do that.  That lady then proceeds to tell me that I will have to pay for the shots because my son has insurance.  Yes....he has insurance but it doesn't cover shots. "I'm sorry.  Its policy.  The shots are only free if you are on Medicaid or uninsured."
This is the point where I started crying and lost my shit (hormones).   That poor woman on the phone God bless her.  My tear filled rant went something like "So what you are telling me is because I am a white stay at home mother who planned my children and sticks to a budget I get to pay premium prices I can't afford?  You are telling me I'm better off divorcing my husband, cancelling my health insurance, applying for Medicaid, food stamps and wic?  You are telling me my reward for being responsible is to pay for everybody who isn't?"  She agreed with me. Said she was sorry. It wasn't fair. Blah blah.  I hung up and had a panic attack.
Please understand.  I do not mind paying for my sons immunizations.  But why the fuck do I have to pay 300 fucking dollars for them??? Why did the bitch with the hair extensions and fresh fake nails get to march into the health department toting FOUR children, whip out her Medicaid card and get ALL their shit for free?  I heard her conversation.  There were 2 daddies of those 4 kids.  They don't pay shit.  She ain't married.  She can't work because she ain't got nobody to take care of them kids.  She laid down and made babies with deadbeats and gets all her shit for free.  No wait, not free.  MY HUSBAND paid for that shit.  MY HUSBAND has his paycheck raped to pay for HER babies while HIS babies go without. I'm furious.  WHY should I pay 300 and she pays nothing??? Why can't ANYBODY go down there and get the REQUIRED BY LAW shots for free or for a small fee per child?  We pay fucking taxes.  Why can't we get something that we technically already paid for??  Sweet Jesus I'm so angry I could light something on fire. I was so furious I temporarily lost sanity, threw my hands up and said "FUCK IT!  We are cancelling health insurance and applying for food stamps and Medicaid! We may even just get divorced! I can claim you are a deadbeat and get us some money.  I can cancel the life insurance and auto insurance policies.  If you die I'll collect social security and get the policy from your work.  If we get in an accident I'll just file bankruptcy!  What good is credit anymore anyway?   They give that shit to anybody!  Then we can just quit paying for the house, let the bank take it and I can get section 8!  Hell houses in OUR NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE WE CURRENTLY LIVE are being run by the government.  We can use the section 8 to pay $80 a month rent based on my income (EBT) instead of this fucking 650 we pay now and not have to fuck with insurance AND still have a comparable home!  I'll just say you ran off!  We can get reduced utilities! Then we can get free lunches for our kid when he starts school!  The sky is the fucking limit!"
THIS ladies and gentlemen is the reason for the disappearance of the middle class.  Because we are sick and fucking tired of getting punished for being honest, responsible and hard working.  We can't fight anymore.  We are tired of struggling paycheck to paycheck and living hand to mouth. We are tired of being the in the same grocery line with mooches buying gourmet shit with EBT while we buy great value cheese.  People are actually doing what I just said above.  They are giving up and jumping on the very government train they have LOATHED for so long.  The entitlement programs we've sneered at.  The lowlifes we've abhorred, judged and ridiculed.  With this new government taking more from us and giving more to them we aren't about to keep working when they don't have to.  Fuck it.  If they don't we don't.  Lets all just jump on the bus the hell without seat belts.

THIS, is what I'm TRYING to say but am just too damn emotional to word properly.


"An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for dollars – something closer to home and more readily understood by all).
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
It could not be any simpler than that.

There are five morals to this story:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation."

Bye Bye Paycheck

I very dramatically lost my job in August.  My boss, we'll call him Sadistic Alcoholic Closet Homosexual Sociopath, or Sachs for short, had put more and more responsibility on me the last year or so.  I was originally hired to be the CSR and his assistant and to help keep track of inventory in the out of state warehouses.  By the end of it I was handling all of the CSR duties, half of the shipping, all of the international and parcel shipping, office supply ordering, website management, tech support issues, all pricing, inventory in FIVE warehouses, marketing product design and implementation, babysitting the sales team, planning the company Christmas party, ordering, filling out, hand addressing and mailing all Christmas cards and corporate gifts AND he was dumping personal shit on me in addition to a hosts of other shit I have blocked out.  The personal shit is part of what ended it all.  I know I know.  "Suck it up.  You and every person in the free world hate their psycho bosses."  Fine.   You handle it better than I do.  I am a people pleaser by nature and this man was IMPOSSIBLE to please.  It hurt my confidence, my self esteem and it was rolling over into my personal life in the form of impatience with my husband and child and excessive alcohol consumption. Oh and shingles.....that was a bitch.  The day I went to the doctor and was told the giant rash on my face was a stress induced illness I had to call into work.  Something I MIGHT have done 4 times in 4 years.  He was pissed at me.  We were in the middle of inventory.  Who would do it blah blah.  I ended up having to drive to work in cut offs and a trucker hat at 4 that afternoon with one eye swollen shut to handle some shit they were just incapable of doing.  Ridiculous.  Anyway, moving on.
So there was a boy I worked with who was the son of one of the owners.  We went to high school together and rekindled a friendship during the 4 years I worked there.  This relationship was PLATONIC.  This boy knew my husband, they hunted together, he came to our home for dinner and beer on occasion.  Good Old Sachs HATES this boy, whom we shall call Boy 1, and his brother, Boy 2, who are Sachs cousins.  Their dads are brothers and own the company.  My rapport with Boy 1 was referred to by Sachs as 'playing grab ass'.  I was livid.  But he's insane so I just rolled my eyes and went back to work.  Back in June I was held after work by Sachs.  After 5, when everybody had gone, he marched up to my desk and asked me if I liked my job.  I lied.  Said yes.  He then pulled me into his office where he unloaded his crazy mind on me for over 2 hours.  A total mind fuck.  About his hatred for Boys 1 &2 and his jealousy of my friendship with them both.  How much he hated their Dad.  How he wanted to buy them out and WOULD.  How if anybody had the balls to challenge him he'd take all the business and leave (he was vp of sales).  It was awful.  I didn't say anything to anybody for weeks.  I was just so creeped out.  Anyway.  The next month we had year end inventory.  One of our Cali warehouses (that had always been a problem) was purchased by a competitor and we were going to be sharing the business.  Inventory had to be reconciled.  It turns out the first owner had been lying about inventory for 3 years and we had to write off about 300K worth of material.  All of this was going on while I had 4 other warehouses to balance, 3 customers wanting full audits and BOOKS of information filled out (by me), sales proposals, my regular job and then Sachs comes up to me and tells me to order some stuff.  His kids school supplies.  His fucking wife doesn't work and they are LOADED beyond comprehension.  But he hates the company so much he uses their accounts to buy his army of brats school supplies.  I accidentally got his paycheck once instead of mine.  Motherfucker makes 10 grand every other week.  Five thousand mother fucking dollars A WEEK.  I can't even wrap my brain around that much money.  Anyway, so I take his list and tell him I'll get to it as soon as inventory is over which gave plenty of time for them to get here before school started.  He said fine.  Stormed off.  Two days later I get inventory done and get my work caught up.  Three pm rolls around and I'm STARVING as I've worked straight through lunch YET AGAIN.  I opt to run to this café for a Panini and come right back.  I asked boy 2 if he wanted anything or wanted to ride with me.  He opted to ride.  We were gone 35 minutes.  I brought my food back and ate at the table by my desk with him and boy 1 for the remainder of my allotted 1 hour break WHILE answering the phone and emails.  Sachs saw us eating and talking and LOST his shit.  Stormed in his office, slammed something down on his desk and stormed out slamming the warehouse door on his way out.  I knew he was pissed and I was past the point of giving a shit anymore.  I finished lunch and got back to work.  I got all his kids supplies priced and separated into transactions so I could maximize coupon and sale savings through Staples.  It takes about 2 hours to do, but I save the company over 100 bucks every time.  I wasn't postponing it on purpose to spite him....I just didn't place it high on my priority list what with company obligations (like customer satisfaction and balanced inventory) coming first.  This was a Friday.  Saturday morning I was throwing a baby shower at my home for my sister in law.  It was a brunch.  They would be coming at 10am.  At 8am I got a text message from Sachs telling me NOT to come to work Monday.  I didn't think I'd done anything THAT bad.  In fact, I had JUST gotten a raise the previous week.  I was pissed.  I called him.  He didn't answer.  That fucking coward couldn't even wait until Monday to talk to me??? On COMPANY time??  He's going to TEXT ME on my PERSONAL PHONE that I PAY FOR on MY off time and ruin my WHOLE weekend.   Hell no.  His sorry ass called me back a few minutes later and said that my behavior was unacceptable and I wasn't LOYAL to him and I'd BETTER NOT show up to work on Monday.  I showed my ass.  Screamed at him.  HOW FUCKING DARE YOU and all. He told me he had every right to tell me not to come in and that I'd better not show my face in that office Monday.  I struggled through the whole weekend.  It was awful.  Monday I spent the day looking for jobs and trying to drum up some cake business. Tuesday I got to work that morning and went straight to HR, which is the owner Sachs hates.  I told him about being threatened and contacted on my off day and about his admitted jealousy of boy 1 and 2 and how he was abusive and crazy and the threats he had made about screwing the company. I also complained about his contacting me on a Saturday rather than go through the proper process of disciplinary action. I was never written up or reprimanded before Saturday Fuck I had just gotten a RAISE.  I was sick of it.  NOBODY stood up to this man so I thought screw it, he's going to fire me anyway so I'll lay that shit on the table before I go.  HR was very concerned and promised my job was safe and they would meet with him about his behavior.  So I went back to my desk and got to work.  Sachs arrived shortly after and was pulled into his Dad and uncles office.  30 minutes later he stormed out and told me I'd lost my damned mind.  THEN the fucking coward waited until  everybody had gone to lunch to pull me in his office.  He was crazy.  Red face.  Wild eyes.  CRAZY.   He said "Did you think your little friendships would protect you?? How dare you circumvent ME!"  I said "I thought your behavior was inappropriate and reported it to HR I've tried to talk to you about your issues before and it has only gotten worse so I went one step up."  He went wild "OH YOU DID DID YOU!? WELL YOU. ARE. FIRED!!!  GET OUT!!!"  
I wasn't upset at this point.  I went to my desk.  I had packed all my shit up Friday and took it home just incase this happened.  I figured fuck it.  I'll file unemployment and find another job.  We will be fine.  So as I'm turning off my computer and getting my purse and phone and all that he is standing over me screaming for me to LOG OUT! LOG OUT NOW!!  His Dad heard this and ever the son of a bitch walks over and wants to know what's going on.  Sachs says "I've fired her for insubordination."   Well his dad knows I can file unemployment and can't have that so he tells us to wait a minute and pulls me into Sachs office.  I told him no.  I'm leaving.  I'm fired.  I'm gone.  He says "You aren't fired til I say you are.  Get in here."  Then he proceeds to say this is all MY fault and I NEVER should have reported Sachs to HR and that if I want to keep my job I will have to show Sachs some respect and eat a lot of crow. Verbatim.  I proceed to tell him that I want a damn apology for being contacted on my off time and not being written up in the office in a disciplinary hearing or even given a warning first.  Sachs is all "YOU called ME FOUR TIMES. (lie..once) I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"  Then why the fuck did you text me???   "I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!"  I said "Do YOU pay for that phone?  No.  You do not."  Then he lost his shit and started hollering about "See! See how insubordinate she is! No respect!!"  I was so brow beaten over this cluster fuck of sociopathic good cop/bad cop shit I started to cry.  I regret it.  So these mother fuckers say I can keep my job.  But I will be cut down to 20 hours a week and will be responsible for training a replacement in the event they opt not to keep me on at the end of a 90 day probationary period.  The fuck??  No.  THEN the coup de gras???  BITCH WROTE ME UP FOR SOME SHIT THEY CLAIM WENT DOWN IN MAY THAT NEVER HAPPENED.  Said failure to perform a task.  Because some business cards I ordered got back ordered and came in later than I had originally said.  All because HE wanted to use a cheaper company.  You get what you fucking pay for.  ANYWAY.  So I walked the fuck out.  Said I was going to lunch.  Went home with no intention of coming back.  Boy 2 heard the end of this mess when he came in from lunch.  He called me after I left and I had to tell him what all happened.  He was sick.  He begged me to come back.  Let him talk to his dad and see what he could do.  Maybe I could transfer to another position and still work there.  I didn't want to.  Then I heard from the man that ran the warehouse.  I cried to him on the phone.  I was so hurt and upset.  He felt so sorry for me.  He knows what a loon Sachs really is.  He's seen what I've been put through.  So I sucked it up.  I went back to the office and used the rest of the afternoon to redo my resume on the good computer.  I searched for jobs.  Sent off a bunch of applications.  Printed about 40 copies of the resume and clocked out.  Boy 1 met me after work for a margarita and a bitch session and I filled him in on all the drama.  Turns out HR had no idea this had gone down and that Sachs was told NOT to fire me.  He begged me to come back.  I said I'd give it one more day.  Wednesday I went in that morning and had a note from Sachs taped to my monitor with instructions to type, print AND handwrite a list of my duties, log ins, passwords and detailed instructions for every task I performed.  I turned on the computer, typed a letter of resignation that was very polite, professional and truthful and hand delivered it to HR.  I cried.  I told  him I'd miss him but that I just refused to work under such conditions and that it would be a good idea for him to tie up that loose cannon boss of mine with a no-compete.  Then I hugged everybody and walked out.  The nightmare was over.  Aside from the looming financial doom I had just heaped upon my poor family, I hadn't felt that relaxed and free in MONTHS.  YEARS even. 
I searched for work for 2 weeks.  Nothing.  The stuff I DID find paid so little I was basically working to pay for daycare.  I went on one interview with a promising company and was grilled by a man that reminded me so much of Sachs I thanked them for their time and walked out.  I will sell my ass on Cody Rd before I EVER work for another rich white man again.  Ever.  They have proven over the years to be crooked crazy and generally psychotic.  No thank you. 
I stayed up til 3am stressing.  Trying to find ANY WAY we would be able to survive.  Then it came to me.  The unthinkable.  My 401K.  I ran the numbers over and over.  It would be tight.....but it was doable.  I cashed that shit out, paid off debt, pulled my boy from daycare, cancelled unnecessary services and started life as a stay at home mom. 
So that's that.  The tale of being fucked over.  Royally.  By none other than a politician.  Oh yeah.  A quick google search of old Sachs real name will provide pages and pages of news reports littered with commentary on what a fucking bat shit crazy loon he is.  I'll keep that info to myself for now, what with him being a sue happy pussy backed by daddy's money.
Next up?  Life elbow deep in buttercream.

I just showed up here and realized it has been a year since I posted last.  I was all talking about how I'd post recipes and lose weight and stuff.  Funny.  What REALLY happened.  I got an insane amount of responsibility at work, got stressed out, gained weight, got shingles, lost my job (a whole other post) started being a work from home momma with the cake decorating and then I got pregnant.  I've been busy.  So here we are 2013.  The world didn't end.  I've had some big life changes and will have another this year when Crosby #2 makes his/her appearance in June.  I'm excited.  Anthony will be a great big brother. 
I'm all about being healthy, but I've given up on the weight.  I made solid efforts for so long with no results so I'm just going to focus on eating good food that is good for you and as close to the dirt as possible.  Plus dieting while pregnant??? No.  I'm shooting for NOT gaining 60# this time.  So far so good.  I'm in 17 weeks and only up 8 pounds of boobs blood and belly. 
So this blog will get back to what it was.  A place for me to unload on the inter webs.  And God knows after a year.....I've got some shit to say.
I'll start off with the very fucked up situation of losing my job.