F.A.T.

I'm sitting at my desk with my UPS window open getting ready to create the days shipments. Just for fun, I decided to see how much it would cost to overnight myself to my buddy in Cincinnati. It would have to be overnight.  I'm not sitting in a box for 2 days.  I plug in her address, the dimensions of the box that I would fit in and my weight.  Usually when you hit 'tab' after entering this data it shows you your shipping cost.  Not today.  This time a little box popped up saying "This shipment is over 150lbs.  Would you like to use UPS Freight?" I am a FREIGHT shipment.  F.M.L. This is where the sheer size of my ass has finally hit home.  I am SO fat, that in order to ship me somewhere, I would have to be shrink wrapped, put on a fucking pallet and loaded WITH A FORKLIFT onto an 18 wheeler.  Losing 35 pounds would be nice, but after today I just want to be eligible for parcel service. Packaging included.
 *sigh*.